All sex is clearly not created equal, even with the same partner. There are special-circumstance sex sessions that take it to another level, such as make-up sex, gratitude sex, wedding night sex, and a variety of other very specific types of sex that are more passionate, more satisfying, and just plain hotter than normal sex. Who would have thought that divorce sex would be among them?
Divorce sex refers to the surprisingly common hookup between two people who are either divorced or in the process of getting divorced. It might be a quick hookup because they miss each other, or an angry grudge match to punish each other, but it is often quite special and memorable.
What’s the deal with hate sex?
There are very few people as hated as an ex-husband or ex-wife. There are few sexual trysts as passionate as hate sex. You can do the math. When two former spouses get together between the sheets, it could get rough.
Rough sex in general is very popular with many people; imagine how much rougher that sex could be if you have a genuine dislike for the person you’re with? Imagine if your ex is seeing someone else and having a fling with you—wouldn’t you love to leave some nice bruises and hickies that they would have to explain to their new love? Beyond that, there are often limits or even routines in place between married partners when they have sex, but after the divorce, all bets are off.
Does the fact that you’re not supposed to do it make it better?
You know how it is—when you know you’re not supposed to do something, it just makes it more fun…and naughty. Naughty is usually a good thing when it comes to sex, and what could be naughtier than sex with someone you formally declared that you do not want in your life anymore?
You know your friends wouldn’t approve. You know your family would think you’re crazy. Still, there you are doing a passable imitation of about half of the Kama Sutra with your ex. How could it not feel good?
Are ex-spouses the perfect friends with benefits?
Imagine you had a friend who you could have sex with regularly who probably doesn’t have any interest in marrying you. Imagine that friend has years of shared history with you, the same friends, similar experiences, vacation adventures, and more. Now imagine that person knows your sexual preferences and quirks, and probably enjoys them too? You might just be talking about your ex.
Mind you, not every ex-wife or ex-husband will leave the marriage with the words “If you ever need a booty call, you know my number,” but not all marriages end in bitter hatred either. In fact, in the current economy, it is not at all rare for former spouses to keep living together after the marriage is dissolved for financial reasons. Imagine if sexual release was just one bedroom away on a cold night—that friends with benefits thing starts to sound pretty good, doesn’t it?
Does divorce sex lead to reconciliation?
Well, divorce sex is more likely to lead to you reuniting with your ex than, say, attempted murder, but it’s a far cry from a sure thing. Most of the time when two former spouses get together there is no long-term intention at all. It’s usually just a chance to relive some good old times or have one final fling with the former love of your life.
If, however, one quick fling turns into another and another, suddenly you might find yourself having regular sex with your ex. Now this might be just the aforementioned friends with benefits situation, or it might get you to wondering why you ever split up in the first place.
In that case, tread carefully, because there were reasons why you split up and there is the danger that you’re seeing more in your current relationship than your partner is. Still, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that divorce sex turns into renewed wedding vows.
Is it better to go back to the crazy you know?
Anybody who’s ever been in a relationship has probably had the thought that every member of their preferred dating pool was criminally insane. This is probably true. Since you’re going to be having sex with a crazy person anyway, don’t you think you might be better off with someone with whom you understand the depth and breadth of their craziness? At least there are rarely any nasty surprises with an ex, and sometimes that’s a comforting thought.
Divorce sex is clearly not for everyone, and there are certainly dangers and complications involved with it. Still, for those who can get away with it, divorce sex can be hot, passionate, and fulfilling on a number of levels. If it’s good enough and things work out well, you might even find yourself trading a failed marriage or partnership for an excellent friend with benefits.