When you think about an affair, you probably think of a few classic stereotypes. Maybe it’s the married man giving the babysitter a special ride on the ride home, the married woman pulling the pool boy into the deep end, or the married office boss keeping their assistant late for a special, personal project. These things do happen, but are they the most likely types of affairs?
There are a lot of ways that people can hook up with someone they shouldn’t, and the number of ways seems to be growing. Infidelity is, in most cases, a crime of opportunity, driven not by particular feelings for the person you’re cheating with, but rather a desire to cheat in general. Basically, any port in a storm seems to be the rule of the cheater, and who you are most likely to end up with depends on where your opportunities lie.
How often do people have affairs with coworkers?
Where do people go most often when they are away from their home and family? They go to work, of course, so it just stands to reason that the workplace would be a popular location for an affair to begin. Many people form very strong, intimate bonds with coworkers due to the amount of time spent together and the challenges faced together. Some of those bonds are more intimate than others.
According to menstuff.org, two out of three women and three out of four men have sexual thoughts about coworkers. Naturally, having thoughts about coworkers and acting on them are two different things, and with good reason. Getting caught having an affair with a coworker could lead to the double whammy of losing your marriage and losing your job at the same time.
Still, there is a convenience factor to affairs at work, as they allow someone to be legitimately working late, and even answer their office phone if their spouse checks up on them, but still spend time with their lover. Most people are not so brazen as to actually consummate their relationship at work, but there are occasional stories of copy room trysts or really memorable holiday parties.
How often do people have affairs with people who work in their home?
The home worker affair honestly doesn’t seem to happen as much as it used to, perhaps because of the stereotype attached to it that makes spouses very wary. Men usually don’t get much quiet time with babysitters these days, and if they do, you can bet the “nannycam” is recording every move they make. Similarly, most men are savvy enough to have the pool cleaner come by on a day when they’re home.
There are, however, occasional opportunities afforded by having people work in your home—Governor Schwarzenegger certainly seemed to spend some quality time with the maid before their relationship, and his marriage, was terminated. There have also probably been more than a few repair men who received quite a bonus from the lady of the house for fixing the cable TV or air conditioning, at least if Penthouse letters are to be believed.
How often do people have affairs with people they meet online?
Online affairs are probably the most premeditated of the affair types. This actually involves a conscious decision to go out and find someone to cheat with. It also involves quite a bit of work—looking at profiles, contacting people, exchanging emails, and generally building a relationship. Still, these types of affairs are among the most popular and their popularity is growing all the time.
Online dating is a huge enterprise now, with dozens of sites devoted to helping people find a mate, whether they’re married or not. It’s no wonder that cheaters have discovered these sites as the best way to meet hundreds of potential partners quickly. These sites also allow people to select people who match what they have in mind for a perfect partner.
How many people actually do this? Research on menstuff.org indicates that 38% of people surveyed engaged in some type of sexual conversation online. The research also showed that, for those who chatted online, 50% ended up speaking in the phone with someone they were chatting with online. Talking on the phone or having a sex chat online is not always going to lead to an affair, but it can definitely be a step in that direction.
They say it takes two to tango, and if you’re planning on having an affair, you might wonder where your dance partner is likely to come from. The fact is, they could be coming from just about anywhere—your work, your home, the Internet, or any number of other places. You are most likely to have an affair with the person who you find at least relatively attractive and who is most accessible to you.