What Should I Wear on a First Date?

A first date is of the utmost importance. Though they say you can’t judge a book by its cover, many people do, and a first date is like reading the little blurb on the back of the book or the inside cover that gives a glimpse into what the book is about.

You don’t want your date to put that book down with an “Ugh, who would want to read that crap?” kind of attitude. In that same vein, what you wear on your first date is like your book’s cover. Choosing what to wear on a first date all depends on the message you want to send. It all boils down to what kind of book you are.

Are you a Romance Novel?

If you want to let your date know that you are essentially one of those books with a bare-chested hunk clutching a beautiful woman with a heaving bosom, then you have to dress the part.

For women, this is pretty easy to achieve. Something low-cut, tight, and flashy will do the trick nicely. Or, you can throw subtlety out the window with a t-shirt that says Porn Star in sparkly letters.

For guys, it’s a bit harder to pull off the boom-chicka-wow-wow look. Leather pants and a silk pirate blouse unbuttoned to your navel will certainly send the message that you are ready and willing to take your lady love in the barn with the throbbing passion of a thousand stars.

Do you Enjoy a Religious Read?

If you are one of those people who believe sex before marriage is a sin, then you should certainly clue your date in on this fact from the get-go. It’s a bit of false advertising to do anything else.

For women, something heavy and dark—such as a black wool dress or a tweed suit—is in order. Make sure it comes down past your ankles and buttons at the neck. If you resemble a nun on holiday, then you’ve nailed it.

For men, dark colors and heavy fabrics are the way to go as well. A dark suit with a bow tie and bland suspenders should do nicely. Another option is to wear a monk’s or priest’s robe.

Are you an Action Adventure Story?

You might be the type of person who laughs in the face of danger, and you want your date to know it. This look is easy to pull off with a few movie references.

For guys, there are few characters quite as adventurous as Prof. Indiana Jones. Get some khaki pants, a white safari shirt, brown boots, a leather bomber jacket, and the all-important brown Fedora. For bonus points, bring along your bull whip.

For the gals, channel Laura Croft from the Tomb Raider video games and movies. The look consists of a skin-tight tank top or sleeveless tee, dark booty shorts with a lot of pockets, knee-high military boots, and a large-caliber hand gun strapped to each well-sculpted thigh. Fingerless leather gloves and a large assault rifle can complete this look.

Do you Dig the Sci-Fi / Fantasy Genre?

If your greatest desire is to be a Hobbit, if you spend you weekends playing a game with dice where you are an Elf Wizard with 500 kill points, or if you plan to say your wedding vows in Klingon, then you should get that right out in the open on your first date.

For men, this means donning the elf ears, or the Obi-Wan Kenobi robe and light saber, or the Spiderman suit. These things can all be found on the Internet if they aren’t already hanging in your closet.

For the ladies, a Princess Leia double-bun hairdo and white dress will be more than enough to spark the fantasies of any Comic-Con guy.

It’s probably recommendable that you actually spend your date attending a Comic-Con function in such garb, or the both of you are going to get strange looks at the bowling alley or in Olive Garden.

Are you in love with the Teenage Vampire Series?

Few things get a girl’s heart going these days as those books/movies about gorgeous, rich vampires with a conscience. It’s a pretty easy look to pull off.

Wear a lot of dark, high-end clothes, mousse your hair and ruffle it like you just rolled out of bed, stay out of the sun for a year, and stay up for three nights straight. Now that’s hot.

Have you Considered the Mystery Novel?

The best way to go might just be the Who-Dunnit? effect. Mystery novels—whether good or bad—pull in readers because readers just want to know how they end. The writing can be utter trash, but readers can’t put it down until they know who the killer is.

In terms of your date, this means dressing like yourself. If your date is interested in the things you are interested in—which is what you are looking for, right?—then he or she will want to continue reading about you, chapter after chapter.

After all, you can be the book that is checked out again and again from the library by multiple people but always returned in the end, or you can be the book that someone buys to take home for keeps.