There is a part of every human mind; a little voice that tells us “More!” If one is good, two must be better. If dating one person is fun, dating three must be a real blast! It seems that more and more people are seeking the thrill of dating multiple partners these days.
In reality, dating multiple partners isn’t as simple as eating a few more potato chips—it’s loaded with problems, stress, and potential disaster. Why then, would we do it? Why is it so darned exciting to step out on one dating partner and date one or more others?
Is there a biological drive to date multiple partners?
To some extent, we are all biologically programmed to particular behaviors. Mating behaviors, in particular, are subject to instinctive urges, primarily the urge to pass on your genes. The best way to pass on your genes is by having sex with as many partners as possible, increasing the chance of becoming pregnant or impregnating multiple partners.
Do we get bored too easily?
Have you noticed how attention spans are getting shorter? We’re constantly flipping channels on the television and the radio. In fact, regular television shows are getting replaced with five-minute YouTube videos with increasing regularity. Is it any wonder that dating one person gets boring for us?
Dating multiple partners gives us the chance to switch things up whenever we want. We can alternate between partners, dating one most of the time and using others as a “change of pace,” or just date whomever we’re in the mood to see on a given night. If you get bored even while dating multiple partners, your only hope for satisfaction may be becoming a porn actor.
Are we never satisfied?
When you go out with someone, are you checking out the person at the bar out of the corner of your eye? When you’re in a relationship, are you always wondering if you can do better? You’re not alone—it seems to be human nature to always want more or better than what we have, no matter how good it is.
Society does tend to push us to want more than we have, too. We see what our neighbors have and want to match them or one-up them. There are also plenty of shows on television that show us how the other half lives—massive homes, fast cars, beautiful spouses. It’s only natural that we watch those shows, look at our lives, and start to think “I need more than what I have.”
Ironically, even dating multiple partners doesn’t usually give people the thrill of variety that they’re seeking. As the old saying goes, “If one isn’t enough, a thousand isn’t too many.” There is some truth to that, as it seems to be more common for someone to be dating three or four partners than just two.
Do we like the danger of dating multiple partners?
One thing that makes dating multiple partners so exciting is the element of danger. If you don’t tell your partners about each other, there is a real chance that you’re going to end up with high drama any time you go out on a date. Some people live for the cloak-and-dagger practices that go into keeping several partners separated from each other and covering every track and trace that would link one date to another.
Even if your partners know about each other, there is still danger involved. You never know if the sight of you actually being out with another person may send a partner into a jealous rage, even though they claim to be cool with it. There is also the risk of exposure to STDs, which goes up exponentially as your number of partners increases. While nobody consciously wants to tempt fate by risking an STD, there is a subconscious element of taboo danger when you run that risk.
Is it all about the sex?
Isn’t it always about the sex? Every sex partner is different in many ways. They might have a different body type, different face, different sexual preferences, different habits, and even a completely different level of enjoyment of sex.
Having multiple dating partners gives you the chance to have sex with a few different people and really experience some sexual variation. You could be with someone dominant one day, submissive the next, and vanilla the day after that. With multiple partners, you’ll be trying more positions, learning new things, and generally increasing your own sexual repertoire while having a lot of fun along the way. What could be more exciting than that?
People are excited by variety, and that extends to dating partners as well. Whether it’s a short attention span, greed, the thrill of danger, or just the joy of sex with multiple partners, people get a real thrill out of dating more than one person.