You’re the best Joe Buck; you’re the best! These immortal words led to the downfall of one naïve young Texan and the launch of the then X-rated and later Academy Award-winning film Midnight Cowboy. If you haven’t seen it, take a quick look. The issues of sexual promiscuity and social relevance are as pertinent today as they were in the 1960s. The overriding question is: Am I really any good at anything at all if it’s just you that are telling me so?
Kissing is one of the more uniquely human methods of communication. A simple kiss can be an indication of kinship, friendship, or camaraderie. A kiss can also be the harbinger of things to come including romantic love and a single kiss can lead to sexual intimacy. Yes, what your mother was always worried about is correct! If you let him kiss you, you’ll end up pregnant! Just kidding, girls!
Just as there are many different kinds of kisses, there are many different manners, methods, and styles of kissing. My old grandfather used to plant a big, wet, cigar-smelling kiss on my cheek each time he’d see me. For him, this was a sign of affection. For me, from the ages of six to about 16, a grandpa kiss was a small humiliation to be borne quietly or avoided if possible.
Who likes to kiss?
Everybody! With so much emphasis always being placed on performance and the sex act itself, it’s refreshing to take a step back and look at one of the more preliminary, but none-the-less important, aspects of human physical relations: the kiss. Mouth-to-mouth contact is nothing new for humans, as well as several other species of mammals. Only among humans, however, has kissing become an intimate part of the mating ritual, as well as a social constant in our day-to-day interactions with our fellows.
While no two people are quite alike in their preferences, there are usually some standards that apply to almost all romantic kissing. Therefore, it’s good to observe some general rules of the road before puckering up for that first lingering kiss. It’s also important to remember that kissing, for humans, is not limited to just the mouth.
What are the criteria for being a good kisser?
Depending on cultural orientation and learned habits and tradition, kissing is appreciated by both genders on almost any part of the body. Men and women both are aroused by tender kisses on the face, neck, and ears. Even love bites such as hickeys can be considered a form of kissing; kisses that leave behind friendly reminders for several days. Why send a text, when a hickey says it all?!
Scholarly studies on kissing conclude that men prefer kisses that are wetter than their female companions. Experts say that, during a first kiss, men should keep the wetness to a minimum and use less tongue action than they might otherwise. If someone is wiping their face with their sleeve, the kiss was too wet!
It’s probably no surprise that woman place a higher value on kissing than men do. Women are attracted to men with nice smiles and healthy teeth while men focus on a woman’s face and body. With this thought in mind men, you are advised to spend more time perfecting your kissing techniques and paying more attention to your date’s lips and mouth.
Timing is very important in kissing technique as well. Most men subscribe to the kiss-and-make-up philosophy, while women are usually not so quick to forget an argument and move right into swapping saliva with passionate kisses. Men should try to be cognizant of a woman’s feelings and hold their kisses until the timing is better.
How important is kissing?
Recent studies reveal that a first kiss can be of utmost importance in determining whether a relationship with the person is desirable or even possible! A whopping 59% of men and 66% of women indicated that, if their first kiss with a new partner wasn’t up to par, the relationship would be over then and there.
Most people rate a kiss in very general and somewhat vague terms. Was the kiss sloppy? Did he or she bite my tongue or did the kisser have bad breath, jagged teeth, or a scratchy mustache (women aren’t exempt from this one either)? Researchers maintain that hormones found in saliva actually guide our thoughts and mental processes.
During make-out sessions, women and men transmit sexual cues through both their saliva and breath. These chemical signals help steer people into or out of relationships. Women, in particular, are susceptible to these hormonal signals and use kissing, consciously or not, as a bonding tool and a way to judge the level of relationship commitment the kisser has.
Kissing has always been an integral and critical component of human foreplay and bonding in general. Nine out of ten cultures that exist today on earth engage in kissing. There are some simian species that express love by kissing and, of course, our pet dogs enjoy kissing but seldom know when to stop.
For humans, kissing is of the utmost importance. So, be the master of your fate and get some practice in before you plant your lips on someone who you might want to do a whole lot more with!