There comes a time in many an adult’s life where they find themselves alone and craving intimate, human companionship. Perhaps they are traveling in a strange city, or have just weathered a nasty break-up, or maybe they just have the urge for a consensual, no-strings-attached, one night stand.
One night stands are in that grey area of acceptability. Depending on whom you ask, they can either be the greatest, freest form of intimate adult interaction, or a perilous, slippery slope; an endless freefall of non-stop pagan delights destroying any possibility of ever again having a “normal” lasting relationship. However, heedless of all warnings, you have decided to ignore any possible stigma and take the plunge and try one. Good for you.
So how do I start?
Surfs up! The World Wide Web seems to have been invented by the horny. There are lots more people surfing the Web for late night booty calls than researching the number of active hump yards Union Pacific has currently operating, so this is the logical place to start your adventure.
Are free dating sites worth looking at?
For a free, local-specific dating site, Craigslist.com can be a good starting point. Aside from tractor parts and those hard-to-find clown job offers, Craigslist is also a popular hookup source. First scan the traditional MF, MM, FM, FF sections. While these are most typically your date/hookup types, be assured that a 2007 study published in Sexuality Research & Social Policy stated that 30% of online female daters will have sex on the first date.
You can increase your odds on Craigslist with their Casual Encounters section. Here you’ll find others more specifically searching for one-night stands of all kinds. The downside of any open site is there is no screening or certified veracity to the ads. What you see may not be what you get.
What about pay-to-join sites?
There is no shortage of adult websites willing to take your money to help you find that special Mr. or Ms. just for tonight. Adultfriendfinder.com and webnaughty.com are two of the largest that you may wish to explore. These sites lure you in with free limited access, but to get down to the real nitty gritty you will need to subscribe.
They offer a smorgasbord of options, and since there is a monthly fee, the hope is that the clientele will have a slightly higher (or lower, depending on what you are looking for) discriminating palate. In other words, these sites at least pretend to offer some pre-screening.
Last move, last call?
The last (and for some the first) source for a one nighter is the old standby, the local bar. While seen by some as a desperate last stand, for others the local pub has its multitude of charms, the least of which is desperation. The bar scene can be second-to-none when it comes to finding that one nighter. Here’s why.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions. That’s a well-known fact. And a recent study shows that women need less alcohol than men to achieve that state of “He may not be Mr. Right, but he’s definitely Mr. Right Now.” This works well whether you are the man or woman in this equation.
Another advantage to hooking up in a bar is that it’s generally the last place open. If you meet that special one-night someone, there’s few other places to go other than “My place or yours?” “Last call!” is the rallying cry for many to make that whiskey-soaked decision as to who to share pancakes with in the morning, and then never see again.
If you’re one who shuns bars, any location that serves alcohol can work. Late night art gallery openings, night clubs (although clubs tend to be open to very late, which can make a one ‘night’ stand pretty difficult by definition) and even avant-garde live theaters. Few attend these odd, live shows and even fewer actors/actresses will turn down a free drink to discuss the play with you into the wee hours of the night afterwards.
What places should I avoid?
The whole point of a one night stand is to avoid, sticky, complicated relationships. So, obviously, you should avoid having a one nighter with someone you may likely run into again. This immediately eliminates the office, your church, any social clubs you may belong to, and family reunions.
Although they may be the most frequent sources of one nighters (after bars), weddings and funerals have their own sticky wickets to contend with. While it’s true that both events can include heavy drinking by guests wising to be anywhere but there, and manipulation of the grief factor can be a huge temptation, tread carefully!
You are both invited guests, and even if the connections in the night aren’t obvious, the cold morning light may reveal that you just shacked up with your boss’s favorite daughter, or even a distant relative who’s not all that distant.