So you’ve met the second love of your life. Okay, more realistically, you’ve met the lust of your life. You’ve progressed well past the point of friendship and it is time to consummate the relationship, preferably with toys, handcuffs, energy drinks, and lots of lubricant. One question remains. Where?
Even meeting a potential lover for a relatively innocent drink can be a challenge, and the stakes are very high. It takes a certain amount of thought to find the right places to get together in, or near, your city.
Places for a Non-Sexual Rendezvous with a Potential Lover
If you have a brain in your head, you’re not taking your lover to the same restaurant where you take your family every Thursday. Restaurants in general aren’t always the best choice for get-togethers unless they are very dark, because you will be seated with your friend for a long period of time in plain view, increasing your chances of being spotted by an acquaintance.
Bars can be a good place for a meeting with a lover or potential lover. They tend to be dark and loud, and everybody is at least a little tipsy so they’re never quite sure if they actually saw what they thought they saw. Coffee shops are good, too, because people don’t stay there very long.
When you’re taking it to the next level―more than a casual meeting but less than a full-on sexual tryst―you basically need a quiet place to make out. Movie theaters are great for this, because you can enter separately and then sit together in the dark. One word of warning though: Don’t pick the latest summer blockbuster that is four seats away from selling out. Failing that, there is always the old teenage plan of making out in a parked car in a forest preserve or park, but it’s pretty embarrassing for 30+ year olds to be caught in this situation.
Don’t Bring Your Lover Home
If you’re even thinking for a second about bringing your lover home, you’re delusional, right? The only way you should bring your lover into your home is if you intend on introducing them to your spouse and trying to arrange a threesome. Besides the obvious moral reasons and just reasons of general ickiness, there are also some logistical issues.
Do you have neighbors? What do you know about them? What do you think they know about you? Chances are they know more about you than you think, and when a strange car parks in front of your house and a strange, presumably attractive, person gets out, there will be talk.
Does you spouse ever come home early from work, or their mother’s house, or wherever they’ve gone that has you thinking that your house is open for partying? It can happen, and you can get caught. How are your cleaning skills? If you miss that fallen earring, that smudge of lipstick, or maybe that pair of panties that gets left behind, you are busted.
Use a Hotel or a Motel
Hotels and motels are the obvious choice when it’s time for a secret relationship to go horizontal, or inverted, or whichever other direction is your personal preference. But which one you choose is important, as well. It really comes down to more of a financial choice.
Hotels are not as anonymous as motels, and they are usually more expensive. The good news is that hotel staff are usually a bit more discreet than motel staff and tend not to ask questions. The bad news is that you will probably greeted by seven different people between the parking lot and the room, so that’s seven chances to be recognized.
Motels are a bit lower class, as a rule, but they serve their purpose. Some motels clearly know their market, and they are designed in such a way that, after you check in, you never need to go near the front desk again. There are also those that charge hourly rates, but really, you have more class than that, don’t you?
You also want to be careful of the neighborhood the motel is in—it’s not worth it to save a few bucks on the motel if you get mugged or get your car stolen on the way.
Rendezvous Outside of Your Neighborhood
How big is your city? Geographically, you want to find a meeting place that is close to both of you, but yet far enough from your normal hangouts that you aren’t likely to run into people you know. Six to ten miles is a fairly good number of miles from your homes, but you wouldn’t want to go more than 15. If you live in a big city, you can go across town—otherwise, you might be looking at a neighboring town.
Some people take it to the total extreme and have their meetings take place hundreds of miles from home, but then you waste good sex time travelling, and where’s the fun in that? Also, if you have a nosy spouse who looks at your mileage, you’re busted.
Getting together for private time with your lover is going to be a challenge, especially in your own city. Keeping to dark, quiet spots where people don’t tend to linger and ask questions is the key. And when it comes time to find the motel or hotel, don’t book the one across the street from where your husband’s cousin works and you should be fine.