Do I Have to Wink Back Online?

Winking has always been a fun and flirty way to show interest in someone. It can be done across a crowded room or in a more intimate setting. Thanks to online dating sites and social media, the act of winking has evolved and now can be done across cyberspace.

Dating sites such as allow you to wink at someone who catches your interest. The hope is that the person you are interested in will wink back, which leads to further communication and hopefully a love connection.

If you are the recipient of a wink you have the option to either wink back or not. Returning a wink is not necessary but there may be consequences to your lack of response. There are a number of things you should consider before deciding how to react to an online wink.

Who is Winking at You?

Obviously, you need to consider who the person is who sent you the wink in the first place. You joined the dating site to meet people and date. You have a better chance of starting and continuing a relationship with someone if you take advantage of all of the communication options available.

When you get a wink from someone, it is highly recommended that you check out his or her profile. You can usually tell within minutes whether or not there is a potential love connection. As superficial as it may seem, some people are just not attractive to you and you may have no desire to pursue anything with them. Others may have completely different interests and life goals than you do.

With those who are not of interest to you, save your time and energy and skip winking back. No need to further stir the embers of something that will never happen.

However, if you check out his or her profile and it piques your curiosity, it is often in your best interest to respond back. This can be with a wink or another form of communication with which you are more comfortable.

What is the Harm of Not Winking Back?

One of the biggest fears that you may have for not returning a wink is that it can seem rude, just as not returning another form of conversation such as a text or phone call. More than likely you have had your feelings hurt at one point or another from someone not returning attention to you.

This is a fear that you will need to get over. If you are not interested in someone it is better to make it clear from the beginning. One thing that may help you feel better about ignoring the person is that this person has probably sent winks to many other matches, so taking yourself out of the picture will make his or her search easier.

Even if you are interested in the person winking at you, you may choose not to wink back for other reasons. Some people see online winking as an insincere way to get someone’s attention. If you feel this way you probably don’t want to return the wink for fear of seeming lazy and impersonal.

One danger of not returning a wink is that you may lose the possibility of pursuing anything further with someone of interest. Some dating experts seem to think that those who send winks get more dates and find love quicker than those who don’t.

The good news, if you are one who doesn’t want to be a winker, is that there are other ways to tell someone that you are interested. They may take more time than throwing out a wink but often they will result in closer connections.

How Can You Show Interest Without Winking Back?

Although winking at someone is easy, there are other things you can do to show that you are attracted to someone. One of the best things that you can do is send them a private message. This works especially well if you have already received a wink from someone because you know that the other party is interested and it makes opening up to them easier.

In your message, acknowledge the wink and let them know that you are flattered and are interested in them. This will open up a conversation between the two of you and hopefully lead to a future date.

Some Internet dating sites have live chat available. You can see who is online and start a conversation with them right away. This is beneficial whether or not someone has sent you a wink. If you see someone you want to start a connection with you can let them know immediately. This takes more guts than just sending out a wink, but it will also get the ball rolling quickly.

There are pluses and minuses to online winking. The key is to not overuse it, as this comes off as being insincere. Only wink at someone if you are truly interested and are serious about wanting to pursue something.

It is also necessary to realize that winking is only part of the equation. Real and true relationships result from hard work and perseverance. A wink may get the ball rolling, but you need to put in the time to have a real conversation with a match in order for things to evolve.