You’ve made sure not to pressure her on the first date, and you even went a couple of dates past the “three-date rule.” Tonight was finally the big night, and you made sure to set the stage: a romantic dinner, a stroll in the park, even some candlelight. You also took your time, or at least more time than you usually do.
Yet, after the sex, you still didn’t feel quite right. In fact, it felt like kind of a let-down. You know your performance was up to snuff, so you’re pretty sure the problem was her. How’s this possible? Can a woman be bad in bed?
Surprisingly, yes a woman can be bad in bed. And you thought your work was done when you finally got her into bed! But there are many different ways that women can be just plain awful in bed and you usually won’t know it until it’s too late.
Is She The Equivalent of a Cold Fish?
Although you might feel that the pressure is all on the man to perform and the woman might only need to have a supporting role, nobody wants a bedmate that just lays there and doesn’t do much at all. You might as well have one of those blow-up dolls in your bed if that’s the case. Better yet, forget the doll and just entertain yourself. After all, you know how to please yourself, right?
If a woman expects a guy to do all the work in bed and doesn’t do so much as move a muscle, yeah–she’s bad in bed. She probably doesn’t even like sex that much and you want somebody who doesn’t just tolerate your needs, but also has needs of their own. Screwing somebody who just lies underneath you will leave you feeling as crappy about yourself as you feel about them.
Does She Talk Too Much?
There’s nothing like the talker to turn you off in bed. If you wanted the play-by-play, you’d have invited a sportscaster to commentate from the sidelines. You’ll kiss her to try to get her to just shut up, but in vain–somehow she’ll manage to still talk, talk talk.
Some of it isn’t even about what’s going on in the bedroom. She’ll talk about work, family, the hair salon; it just doesn’t matter. Her mind is everywhere but with you. It may even be worse when she finally focuses on what’s going on in bed, as you’ve heard enough “ooh big boy” and “do it to me” expressions in cheap porn movies to even think for a minute that she means what she says.
But the worst–the absolute worst–kind of talker is the one that’s insulting to your manhood. Pray you never, ever hear “Are you in yet?” or “Are you done yet?” from any of your sexual partners.
Is She Faking It?
Are you old enough to have watched “When Harry Met Sally” with Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan? If not, don’t bother renting it because it’s a chick flick. But the movie ruined women’s orgasms for guys for years because Meg Ryan did such a vivid and believable fake orgasm in the diner scene. It left us doubting all those times we thought we were pleasing our partners in bed.
Would you recognize a fake orgasm if you heard it? Do you really care? Most likely, you don’t, since she’s the one with the problem, not you. And women would probably argue that faking it is a kindness to the guy; that their lack of orgasm is due to a guy being bad in bed, not the woman. Still, if they’re exceptionally bad at faking it, you’re going to know, and it’s going to deflate at least your pride.
Can a Woman Become Good in Bed?
There’s a good chance that a woman who is bad in bed can be redeemed with the help and guidance of a patient teacher. If she’s eager to please and it isn’t just a case of wanting to get it done and over with quickly, she’ll probably be amenable to some pointers. Especially if you make the lessons fun for her (and you).
Besides, there’s nothing really to lose; especially if it’s a woman you’re really into. Don’t make it all about you. Show her that sex is a mutually satisfying and pleasurable experience. Perhaps it’s embarrassment that’s causing her to be “bad” in bed. Assure her that there’s nothing embarrassing about enjoying what goes on between two people.
Hey – we know this sounds like more work than you’re willing to do. If you’re just interested in sex, then move on to the next woman now. But if there’s something more to it and it’s worth it to you, give her a little TLC in the bedroom. Maybe you can even get her to come around to the “good” kind of “bad.” Now we’re talking!