Are you at the age where your friends are starting to settle down with one special person, getting married and having children? Are you the perennial “bridesmaid” but never the bride? If you find yourself bar-hopping with people 10 to 20 years younger because all of your peers now look upon bar-hopping with disdain, it’s likely that you’re either loathe to stop being the life of the party or you’re afraid of commitment, or some combination of both.
Whatever the reasons behind it, there are many people out there who have a fear of settling down with just one person; whether it be for the rest of their life, or simply for the next several years. Are you one of them? Here are 10 signs that you are afraid of commitment.
1. You Measure Relationships in Hours
What’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had? A year? A month? A night? Do you view couples celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries as crazy people needing serious intervention? If you measure the length of your relationships in hours, it’s a sure sign that you’ve got commitment issues!
2. You Can’t Even Say the “M” Word
Forget the four-letter words. Forget even the “C” word – you know, “C” for Commitment. If you can’t even get your mouth around the longer “M” word of “Marriage” then you’ve got some serious problems. Most kids pretend to get married when they’re little–especially little girls who like dressing up in white. If you were more likely to hide in a tree then attend pretend weddings, marriage might not be your thing. If you can’t even say the “M” word, well, you obviously are afraid of commitment.
3. Diamonds Are Definitely Not Your Best Friend
It seems that so many television commercials, and even billboards on the highway, are for diamond jewelry–especially during the months of February (Valentine’s Day), June (weddings), and December (Christmas). If all of this hullabaloo over diamond-studded trinkets makes you positively green at the gills, you’re definitely not ready for a commitment.
4. You Hide in the Bathroom at Weddings
It’s finally here–the favorite part of a wedding for so many of your girl friends! They plant their feet and jostle others with their elbows, and hope to get in the best position to catch the bridal bouquet. But you’re not among them because you’re hiding in the bathroom. If you’d rather not catch the bride’s flowers, putting yourself next in line to get married, then you’re probably afraid of commitment.
5. You Never, Ever Sleep Over
You love hanging out at bars with your friends, meeting new people and picking up potential bedmates. You love the freedom, and newness, the excitement of it all. But what do you do after the hook-up? If you hurriedly get re-dressed, murmuring the standard platitudes on your way out the door, or if you insist on going to their place and never yours, then you’re afraid of commitment.
6. You Like Being the Third Wheel
Most people strive to make sure that the person they’re involved with is not also involved with somebody else. After all, what kind of serious relationship can you have with somebody who is also in a relationship with a third person?! If you’re the exact opposite of this, and actively seek out a boyfriend or girlfriend specifically because you know they’re dating somebody else, you’re obviously a commitment-phobe.
7. Your Mother Has Never Met Your Dates
It’s not unusual for your mother not to have met some of your dates, but if she’s never met any of them – yeah, you’ve got commitment issues. Unless, of course, your mother is dead, incarcerated, or estranged, or lives overseas. If you’ve never taken your girlfriend or boyfriend to meet the family at least once, they obviously mean very little to you in your life plans.
8. Your Finances Are a Mess
If you don’t even keep track of the purchases on your credit card or the deposits and withdrawals in your checking account, you haven’t given much thought to your financial future. This is bigger than your lack of commitment to one single person–it shows a fear of commitment to a steady financial plan and a complete lack of serious consideration to your future welfare, and that of any of your dependents.
9. You Don’t Believe in Pens
Funny as it sounds, many people only use pencils to write in their planners, calendars, and datebooks, because anything written in pencil can be easily erased. Pen or marker is so much more permanent. If you find yourself inexplicably shying away from indelible writing instruments to write down dates and events, what you’re really shying away from is committing to attending that event. In essence, you don’t want to be perceived as somebody that can be relied upon. After all, if you’re reliable then you’d have to make commitments!
10. You Can’t Imagine Sex with Just One Person
You firmly believe that “variety is the spice of life” and can’t imagine that one person could keep you satisfied in bed for the rest of your life. Forget 50 Shades of Grey–you’re just not that creative. If, you’d rather switch bedmates than change up positions, you’re just plain lazy–and you’re afraid of commitment.