Why Does Every Man Think They Are Brad Pitt?

You know you’ve seen that guy. The guy with the beer belly hanging over his swim trunks, the greasy hair and droopy seventies porn star mustache, who walks down the beach just knowing he is “all that.” The question is, where the heck did he get that idea? What makes him think he’s Brad Pitt?

It’s not just the really ugly or creepy guys who exhibit this type of behavior. There is a related phenomenon in which average-looking men think they’re above average, above-average men think they’re hot, and hot men think they’re the hottest guy on the planet. There are a number of reasons for this.

Why don’t ugly guys know that they’re ugly?

It all comes down to a simple fact – beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Let’s start with early childhood. No mother is going to tell their son that he’s ugly. The father might, but he’s usually not a woman, so it doesn’t really count. So the child will get about 10 to 15 years of unadulterated praise about his looks from the only woman who matters to him.

Now Quasimodo is in high school and you’d think this is where his spirit gets crushed, and it well may, but here’s the thing – his male ego and peer pressure will push him to keep asking women out until someone says “yes.” Now bear in mind that three-quarters of the girls in high school have had their egos systematically destroyed by Barbie dolls, fashion magazines, and, well, other girls. Some of them are going to be darn grateful to have our dashing gentleman turn his one good eye on them and flash a grin with both of his yellow teeth.

So on his first date, does the ugly duckling finish by smugly fu…fumbling through his first kiss? Not always, but the mere fact that his date wasn’t leading the townspeople chasing him with torches and pitchforks is all the confirmation he needs that he has got it going on. Is it any wonder that as an adult he’s walking around shirtless and flexing his hairy flab?

Why do average guys think they’re above average in looks?

You start with all of the same logic that you see in the ugly guy’s childhood and take it up a notch for the average guy. Here’s a guy who has probably been on a couple of dates in his lifetime and guess what—some women may have actually found him to be attractive. Most men learn pretty early on that dating is a numbers game and that if they talk to enough women, they’re going to find the one who likes their type. If this guy has found one or two girls who like his looks, he’s pretty happy with himself.

So now you have a man, complete with a male ego, who has been out with several women and has probably had at least two women (if you count his mother) call him handsome. This is the guy who’s going to think he’s James Bond every time he wears a suit and think he’s Christian Bale every time he puts on a cape. Why is he wearing a cape, you ask? Because he’s just that confident.

Why do guys with above -average looks think they’re hot?

Above-average looking guys have really got things going their way. They not only believe that they’re good-looking—they actually are. And don’t think for a moment that women don’t reinforce that knowledge every day with a smile, a wink, an unnecessary conversation. These guys have got the keys to the kingdom and they know it.

Why is this the case? Why can a guy with even slightly above-average looks feel so elevated? Because most of the guys he’s competing against are the homely shlubs and mama’s boys we’ve just been talking about.

When you’re on a used car lot and every car there has dents and scratches and missing wheels, the Hyundai with 30,000 miles on it and no visible exterior damage starts to look like a Jaguar. And the car dealer knows this, and puts it right out in front of the lot so everybody knows that this is the cream of the crop.

Why do hot guys think they’re the hottest guy on the planet?

Hot guys are really living the dream. These are the guys who don’t actually have to chase women. Even other men look at hot guys and smile with a little sense of payback, because they know that this guy can turn the tables on most women and turn them into the stuttering, stammering fools that the average guy is when he talks to even an average-looking woman.

What is Sergio supposed to think when every shallow Paris Hilton wannabe in the world is throwing themselves at his feet? Of course he knows he’s hot, but he thinks he’s more than that. He believes he is a man of substance, of intelligence, of valor – because most women will do nothing to make him believe he’s wrong. Brad Pitt? This guy points at Brad Pitt and laughs.

All men have a slightly heightened sense of attractiveness…Okay all men think they’re Brad Pitt, to some degree, mainly as a function of how women have reacted to them throughout their lives. All in all, it’s probably a good thing – otherwise two-thirds of the men in the world would never venture out of their house.