Since the dawn of time, it’s seemed that women preferred bad guys over good guys; depicted in cartoons most humorously as a caveman clubbing a woman and then dragging her back to his cave by her hair. But why would a woman go for this brute of a caveman when she could have had the brainy caveman responsible for divvying out the fruit? Why the one smoking behind the mastodon instead of the one who actually discovered fire?
Perhaps women are just attracted to somebody with an aura of danger, à la the leather-clad, motorcycle-riding James Dean in “Rebel Without a Cause” and, more recently, Christian Grey of the “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy, Nothing attracts women like good looks, but they find a devil-may-care attitude fascinating as well, and a disdain for living within society’s “rules” attracts them like moths to a flame.
What Trait of Bad Guys do Women Find Attractive?
Women are often attracted to a “bad boy” because he seems so far out of reach. True to their human nature, when women are told not to do something, they very often just have to do that thing just because somebody put the thought in their head. Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t have been nearly as good of a story if the young lovers’ families weren’t sworn enemies, and Juliet had not been told to keep away from Romeo.
Throughout history, women have been relegated to the sidelines and margins, forced to accept what was done to them and told to them. Just as a slave would admire a free man, so too would women admire somebody who refused to let themselves be sidelined.
In addition, the slightly dangerous edge to bad guys appeals to the part of a woman that wants to not just experience that danger, but also tame it. Some women love a challenge and bad guys represent one hell of a challenge. What woman wouldn’t jump at the chance to reform a bad boy? The problem being, of course, that once their bad boy is reformed, he’s likely no longer as attractive to them.
Who is this Christian Grey Guy?
Christian Grey is the main male character in a series of three books written by a woman, E.L. James. This “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy features Christian and the main female character, Anastasia, and tracks how their relationship grows from just a casual, sexually explicit one to a much more serious, sexually explicit one. Yes, these books have lots and lots of sex in them, so we won’t spoil the ending in case just this fact makes you want to read them.
While we’ve heard that men like the books because their women like the books and are very amenable to experimenting with some of the sexually explicit acts in the books, women are no doubt enamored with Christian Grey because he’s handsome, rich, brooding, and dangerous.
Anastasia is attracted to Christian by his looks, but also by this undercurrent of danger–something that’s non-existent in her normal, little life. On top of that, she’s attracted by this motherly need that most women share, of helping the suffering little boy that must surely exist under that desire to do dangerous things. Can you tell the writer was also a woman?!
What Other Traits do Women Find Attractive?
Luckily for guys, women won’t make you read these books. Phew! Luckily also for guys, there are other traits that women have said they find attractive, in addition to “being bad.” Besides good looks, women also love a guy with a sense of humor–somebody who makes them laugh on a daily basis. This includes somebody who is self-deprecating, willing to poke fun at themselves occasionally and not take themselves too seriously.
Women love a guy who dresses well and “cleans up nicely.” This doesn’t mean that you have to walk around wearing a three-piece suit or coat and tails every day, but sitting around in a flannel shirt and sweatpants, day in and day out, is a major turn-off to girls. Take a little pride in your appearance so that they can take a little pride in showing you off.
Knowledge is appealing in men, but not the stuck-up, know-it-all, my-way-or-the-highway type of knowledge. Read some monthly magazines and stay current on the world news: This not only gives you topics of conversation that aren’t the same on every date, but also shows that you’re interested in the world around you. Ladies like an intelligent man, but lay off the heavy political discussions that could wind up with you in a screaming match with her best friend.
You don’t have to become a bad guy just to get the women, so put away the clunky boots and shave that four-day scruff. With the proper charm, humor, and polish, even the good guys can win the girl sometimes!