Top 10 Reasons to Deny Cheating

Uh-oh, now you’ve gone and done it. You were not only stupid enough to cheat on your wife, but now it seems that she’s found out all about it. Or has she? In your guilt-induced haze, you just can’t be certain if she knows for sure or not.

Should you volunteer the information to her in order to cleanse your soul and seek forgiveness, or should you just lie through your teeth, never admitting you’ve done anything wrong? Sometimes, denial is the best policy. Here are the Top 10 reasons to deny cheating on your girlfriend or boyfriend, your husband or wife.

1. Grass Stains Don’t Always Come out

You’ve seen enough TV shows and heard enough stories to know that, if you admit cheating, you’re going to come home the next day to find all of your possessions on the front lawn. For everybody driving past to see, and possibly take. And they might be broken from the fall out of the second-story window, rendering them useless and stained by grass.

Additionally, you might be forced to grovel–to get down on your knees and beg forgiveness–on that same lawn. In your favorite khaki pants. With all the world to see.

2. Sleeping with One Eye Open

Cheating on your spouse or partner is not going to engender much trust in the relationship. Worse yet, your partner may be the type who meets your admission of guilt with nothing but silence, leaving you to wonder where, when, and how her wrath will manifest itself. Better to spare yourself this fear of bodily harm by keeping your guilty act a secret.

3. Your Car or Truck Is Your Prized Possession

You need look no further than Carrie Underwood’s song “Before He Cheats” to discover the many ways a betrayed lover might ruin your favorite vehicle, carving her initials into your seats and taking a baseball bat to the headlights. This kind of retribution is not just painful, it’s downright costly!

4. The Potential Loss of Your Dog

Luckily, you don’t have kids, but you did make the commitment of adopting a dog together with your girlfriend. And, while you were against the idea at first, you came to love this loyal friend. Obviously, you loved it more than the woman you just cheated on. However, you just know you’re going to lose the dog in any breakup that occurs if you reveal that you cheated. After all, guess whose side the dog is going to take?

5. You Cheated with His Best Friend

There’s just nothing good that will come from admitting to your husband that you slept with his best friend–you know, the handsome Best Man at your wedding?! Especially if it’s his own brother!! However, this would be a very crucial time to take a step back and examine your relationship, including the physical side of it. If you can so easily give in to this kind of painful betrayal of the person you love, perhaps it really isn’t love.

6. You Were Drunk

It’s insulting enough to your partner to have you admit to her that you cheated on her at all, but to have done it when you were sloppily drunk is even more of an insult. Using alcohol as some sort of excuse that you didn’t know what you were doing will just make her wonder what more heinous thing you’ll do the next time you drink!

7. You’re Truly Remorseful

Maybe you were drunk and you have absolutely no idea how what happened even happened. You simply woke up in a stranger’s bed the morning after you remember going out for drinks with your buddies. As long as you make your buddies swear a blood oath to never, ever talk about that night and you know in your heart that it will never, ever happen again, keep your guilt to yourself. There’s no sense hurting your partner because you suddenly suffer a crisis of the heart.

8. Your Partner Is in Poor Health

Say that your boyfriend is laid up in bed with a severe case of the flu, or he’s currently undergoing chemotherapy for cancer. However, he heard something from someone, and now he’s confronted you and asked you point-blank if you cheated on him. You should absolutely deny it, even if you have cheated. Causing somebody even more anguish while their body is weak could do even more physical damage, along with the emotional pain.

9. It’s Going to Cost You a Lot of Money

Oh man! You just moved in with your girlfriend and were counting on having to pay only half of the rent fees every month. Or you insisted that your wife didn’t need to sign a pre-nup before the wedding. If you admit that you cheated, it’s going to cost you big-time! If you place a high value on money, and having lots of it, you’ll want to deny any knowledge of any other girl in the world.

10. You Didn’t Actually Do It

This is the last and best reason to deny cheating–you actually didn’t cheat!! You can breathe a sigh of relief, look your partner straight in the eyes, and tell her that you haven’t betrayed her or your relationship and you never would.