Should I Flaunt My Wealth on a First Date?

The way to a man’s heart may be through his stomach, but the way into a woman’s pants is often through a man’s wallet. Okay, that’s a crude, insulting stereotype. Too bad it’s usually accurate.

As much as our society has evolved and gender roles have changed over the last several decades, there is still a desire within women, either cultural or instinctive, to find a man who is at least capable of taking care of her financially, even if she doesn’t actually want him to do it. With this in mind, part of the dating game for men is to get the point across to their date that they either have wealth or have the potential to earn wealth in the near future. The question is, how subtle should the man be on a first date?

How wealthy are you?

Before you go flaunting your wealth, you should probably actually have some wealth to flaunt. Every person has a different idea of wealth and all things are relative, but usually, if you have it, you know it. If you don’t have it, it’s best to not try to be something you’re not.

If you flaunt wealth you don’t have, first off, you’re starting your new relationship with a lie of implication. Maybe that doesn’t bother you, but what will bother you is what happens further down the road, when your date expects you to use your nonexistent wealth to buy her a diamond bracelet, pay her rent, or take her to a restaurant that doesn’t have a drive-thru. What are you going to do then, big spender?

How wealthy is your date?

Let’s say you’re a moderately successful guy with a nice house, a nice car, and maybe five figures in your bank account. While the girl behind the counter at WalMart might consider you to be quite a catch, Paris Hilton is probably going to laugh you out of the bar. You’ve got to know your audience.

There is nothing quite as humiliating as when you try to flaunt your wealth and have the girl completely dismiss you. Look for clues as to how wealthy she is—the way she’s dressed, the brand of purse she carries, the amount and quality of jewelry she’s wearing―before you try to run your game. When in doubt, keep your wealth to yourself.

Is your date giving you clues that money matters?

On a first date, a guy is always hoping his date is checking out his package, but she may be checking out much more. If the girl is staring at your watch, your clothes, and your jewelry, or trying to sneak a peek into your wallet when you go to pay for something, money matters to her—a lot.

This is one case where flaunting your wealth on your first date will almost certainly get you laid. It might also get you broke, depending on how much wealth you actually have and how long you plan to be with this woman.
Where do you see this relationship going?

Your ultimate goal for the relationship will greatly influence your decision of whether or not to flaunt your wealth on your first date. Flaunting your wealth can be a sort of psychological test for a date, and if you find that she really cares more about money than anything, is this someone who you want to date for a long period of time? Extended dating of a true gold digger is a great way to empty your bank account.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for a quick roll in the hay, or maybe a week or two of successive quick rolls in the hay, seeing a woman respond positively to a quick show of financial strength could be a positive sign. You know what turns this woman on and you’ve got it—what more can you hope for, in the short term?

Should a woman flaunt her wealth on a first date?

Most of the discussion has been focused on men dating women, but there’s a new breed of man out there—the kind who is looking for a wealthy woman to take care of him. Do you want to be that kind of woman: a patron and muse to a starving artist or man who will not allow himself to be corrupted by society’s views of the need for a man to earn a steady income? Then flaunt your wealth and bring the man home with you; you have your new pet, or rather, partner.

Most men will still be just a bit turned off by a woman who flaunts her wealth. There is still a cultural memory of man’s need to provide for a woman, and there is a subconscious desire in men to always be more wealthy, or at least have the potential to be more wealthy, than the woman he dates. If a man sees a woman flaunting her wealth, he might be intimidated and assume she is out of his league, so he will move on.

Flaunting your wealth on a first date is a good move only in very specific situations. If you’re wealthy, or at least wealthier than your date, and your interests are relatively short-term, flaunting your wealth might be the best way to get your date’s attention. However, with all the potential for things to go wrong, flaunting your wealth is something you should do only when you’re absolutely sure that the time is right.